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Im back

I’m finally back on tumblr after so long not remembering my password and already have a bunch of problems.

Why would someone who had so much potential to do whatever she wanted academically turn to cheerleading and hairdressing? It boggles my mind how she can settle for that. But, she’s happy and not dating that dick head anymore so i guess everything is good.

Don’t really have much more to say tonight so i’ll say good night and i shall definitely be back tomorrow to tell, and maybe show, all how the new diet and exercise regime starts.

I’m scared, for once in my life I am genuinely scared

Have you ever wanted to do something with your life, but been too scared to do it because of your past issues and some of things that it would involve?

I am, I’ve wanted to be a fighter for many years now. I had the chance but it got screwed because of an injury. Now I’m in a position where it would be hard but I could do it, but I’m scared.

I’m scared because I don’t want to get hit. I mean, I’m not afraid of being hit or anything don’t get me wrong. I understand it’s a part of the job but I’m worried about it.

You know, some people get hit and they just break down cause they can’t believe they got hit. Then there’s people who can just take it and keep going, that used to be me. And along with those people, there are the ones like me, the ones that push themselves harder after they get hit.

I don’t lose control or anything, I just push myself to be better than that because when you train to avoid being hit, then you do get hit, I feel like its an instant fail. I don’t fail. When I feel I’ve failed I push harder at whatever it is I’m doing, but the last time I was in a fight and got hit properly… I pushed myself to work harder, and when I push myself to be better in a fight I get dangerous…

It scares me what I’m capable of doing with my barehands, and I’m scared I won’t be able to control it if I go back to fighting. But it’s still what I want to do with my life.

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